Spring Cleaning

If all the green beer you drank for St. Patrick's Day didn't unclutter your colon for you, then this might just be your last chance to get your intestines all spiffied up before summer salad season hits.

Cafe Gratitude, one of my favorite places that I've never been, is offering Adina's Urban Cleanse one last time to deal with your duodenum before April bacterial flowers bloom in your jejunum.

The San Rafael branch of the vegan eaterie is running its last event from March 24 -28, 2008. For a mere $650, you get to pick up a daily sack of goodies at the San Rafael branch of the restaurant each morning.

I missed the San Francisco run. Darn my luck!

The contents include morning wheat grass, organic live green juices, organic live imneral oups, coconut water and internal cleanse teas. In addition to these goodies, the program comes with a daily suppport team, daily educational classes and instruction on raw/live food preparation.

Adina Niemerow runs the event. You can check out more at her website.

If you don't have the bread, you can still go to your nearest Cafe Gratitude location and indulge your ileum in Our Daily Cleanse - only $39.50 for three drinks, a salad and spring rolls to help things move along.

If that doesn't float your boat, enjoy some other raw/live organic vegan fare, like the I Am Elated enchiladas or I Am Fabulous lasagna. No one has ever accused the owners of lacking afflatus despite the amount of fiber their dishes contain.

Be forewarned that consuming so much fresh produce may instigate acute loss of dignity later in the day. Depending on your social graces, you may become the office pariah before you can find a shower and clean Calvins.

(Social Tips: Most buses don't allow pets, so you can't divert attention to an adjacent dog. Instead, sniff the air and stare at the closest baby or young child with a distasteful gaze on the bus home. Or sit by an old man and lean away from him with strained politeness.)

But, hey, the fare at Cafe Gratitude is still worlds better for you than having the I Am Enflatulated frozen bean enchiladas you normally nuke for lunch.