Thursday, October 23, 2008

Intolerable Love for Sale

It turns out that the SF Police takes a dim view on a-whorin' in the Taraval District 'hood. The police cited a worker at a health club for "handing" out extra services upon demand with the towels. They had received multiple complaints about the prostitution going on there.

Perhaps it is one last stand by the police since San Francisco voters will be voting on decriminalizing prostitution in the city in Proposition K on November 4.

Gotta Have More Cowbell



I need a little levity right now. I'm so weary of presidential politics. Courtesy of

Monday, October 13, 2008

Crazy Bomb Guy, C'mon Down!

So this crazy bomb guy walks into a law office and gives the receptionist a note saying he has a bomb strapped to him. He's been snubbed by "The Price is Right".

Tell me if I've told this one to you before...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

San Francisco Fleet Week

The U.S. Navy sails into the Bay this week. San Franciscans hit the rooftops to watch the Blue Angels noisy display over the city.







Thursday, October 2, 2008

This Doesn't Happen in America...Maybe in Ohio, but not America!

Homer Simpson demonstrates why electronic voting machines are probably a bad idea while simultaneously illustrating the Republican methodology to winning elections.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Daddy Obama

The annual Folsom Street Fair was last weekend. It is a big street fair for straights and gays who practice BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism).

One of the non-official posters was this one. I wonder how long it will take the Republicans to exploit this one?

The New Economy - Dropping Off the Grid

Tired of the cubicle life? Dream of dropping off the grid? Howcast.com shows you how.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Little America

I've blogged about the British show, Little Britain, before and about its coming to America. It's first show premieres on September 28, 2008 on HBO. Politically correct, this show ain't.

Here is a small taste of the general hilarious offensiveness that is Little Britain USA. Rosie O'Donnell makes an appearance at Marjorie's American Fat Fighters group about 4:45 into the piece.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Mr. Edless: An Offer You Can't Refuse

This cracks me up.

Can you imagine the fun you'd have putting this in bed for a guest to find when they wake up?

Now that would be some lively breakfast conversation.

Hmmm...baby shower gifts?


From the radical knitting blog - theanticraft.com

I Want to Poop On You!



A tongue-in-cheek article in the SF Weekly for the scatalogically obsessed teaches us how to become urban poop detectives for errant pet owners, the homeless and other creatures of the sidewalk toilet.

How to Become a San Francisco Poop Detective

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, declined to be interviewed for this post.

Sunday in the Street with George

Today is one of the traffic-free Sunday Streets days on the Embarcardero where the city closes the street to vehicles and the residents can play in the street with abandon.

Well, not too much abandon. MUNI is operating the streetcars down the Embarcadero, so there is always the chance of a pedestrian accident. But, hey, it's free to ride MUNI today, so who's complaining, so long as you aren't the pedestrian being hit, right?

So get your yoga mat and get your downward dog down to the Embarcadero today.

Clutching Victory from the Jaws of Defeat

It takes a San Franciscan, or perhaps a hardened, cynical New Yorker, to grasp the silver lining to an urban crisis.

Mark Pritchard, of Metblogs, writes:

A friend said to me tonight while we were walking past a popular Glen Park restaurant:

"There have been all these shootings in Glen Park — maybe now I’ll be able to get a table at this place."

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Super Mario MacFarlane

Seth MacFarlane, creator of "Family Guy", introduced a short web video about the trials and tribulations of Super Mario, the game.


Saturday, September 6, 2008

Subversive Knitting of Brows

Highlighting the then recent trend of needle arts by young snowboarders and other hipsters, the New York Times had an article in early 2007 on a show at the Museum of Arts and Design entitled, "Radical Lace and Subversive Knitting".

The show displayed the works of several knitters, crocheters and lace-makers who are changing the face of the crafts by reinterpreting your grandmother's doilies.

My favorite piece is the sweater that shows exactly why the TSA banned knitting needles on airplanes. It is a sweater and head stabbed with knitting needles and the message, "Crafts Kill".



San Francisco, a year behind, but not to be outdone, has a new show in SOMA this month entitled, "When Doilies Go Bad". It opened September 4, 2008 at the Soap Gallery, 806 South Van Ness, San Francisco, CA.

Seeing these would definitely put starch in your grandmother's doilies.



Most have expletives and obscenities crocheted into doilies. The piece I really like, however, is the skulls doily.



So take that macho world. I'm going to become a subversive knitter of socks and radical sweaters and you can't stop me!

Withdrawal Method

Finally, a bedside accessory for the enterprising guy or gal. This condom bank even displays how far you've come, baby.

The lid descends with each withdrawal of the condom drawer showing either your pride in accomplishment or your hussy shame. But, you know, no judgment.

It goes to show you that we never really grow up. Our childhood piggy bank has grown up and takes care of our adult needs.

That said, I'm not sure your parents care to know so graphically what you've been doing with your spare time.

$28 at Uncommon Goods.

Geek Posterboy

Damn. I think I'm officially a Geek 2.0. Check the poster to see if you qualify, too.


Now where did I put those night-vision contact lenses? Nobody move!

Gag Reflexology

The urban myth of the Krispy Kreme double cheeseburger is true. Google's New York office served these in its cafeteria.

The San Francisco Weekly's Heartless Doll reports that she's known friends who picked up doughnuts at Krispy Kreme and then driven to McDonalds to get the rest of the food to try these.

I know at least one of my blog fans will be plotting to try this, as soon as he reads this post. He is a major fanboy of chocolate-chip-bacon cookies. I'll bet he adds bacon to these, too. He's always pushing the cholesterol curve, despite his arteries' fervent protestations.

Update: According to Laughing Squid, this gastronomic catastrophe is called the "Luther Burger", after Luther Vandross. I propose that the bacon version be called the "Tariq Treat".

Wild West Ocean Beach

Surfers on Ocean Beach in San Francisco found themselves surrounded by 100 Indians on horseback on Friday, September 5, 2008. Sadly, the Indians and their horses were painfully thin.

A demonstration of the paucity of Federal treaty promises partially upheld? No, the Indians and horses were plywood cutouts painted by Thom Ross. The San Francisco Chronicle reports that this was Mr. Ross' "Valentine to my home town".

The Western artist used the images from Buffalo Bill and his Wild West Show photograph from 1902 in which Bill Cody posed his Indian entertainers along the same portion of the beach.

Mr. Ross is a native San Franciscan, but now lives in Seattle. His art installation continues through September 15, 2008.

Please note that the art installation displays American Indians from the Plains tribes in the 19th Century and are not representative of tribal members from the Northern California area, past or present.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

You Gotta Give Them Hope

Harvey once said about minorities, "Life without hope isn't worth living. You've got to give them hope. You've gotta give them hope."

I have very high hopes for the movie, Milk. The trailer came out this week.

In fact, I have such high hope for it, that it is my secret sleeper film bet in the Hollywood Stock Exchange.

Based on the trailer and what I've read about the reactions from those who knew Harvey Milk, Sean Penn's acting is spot on.

Sean Penn is very believable in the trailer. I couldn't imagine him in the role until I saw him in the trailer, though (as borne out by my prior musings on this movie).

I suspect he will get an Academy Award nomination, if not win. I've not seen any other acting as good this year.

Josh Brolin as assassin Dan Brown does a great job from what can be seen here, too. There has been a lot of buzz about the quality of his acting, too.

In the trailer, there are some touching scenes and some that make you laugh.

Now I wish it would come out in October instead of November, after the election. It might change some minds about the debate over "family values".

It helps to see the arguments in their early days. They were devoid of truth and justice then, as they are now. It is amazing that we keep spinning our wheels politically. Except however fast they spin, we seem to be moving forward, however slowly it seems to us.

Exposing the Wizard of "Uh's"

Campbell Brown officially broke rank and engaged in honest journalism on September 1, 2008. It took seven years, but the media finally seems to be shaking free of the self-doubting headlock that Republicans put them in after 9/11.

Campbell dares to ask substantive questions and press Tucker Bounds, the McCain campaign spokesperson, to substantiate the fantastical claims the campaign is making about Gov. Sarah Palin's foreign policy experience. In particular she asked Tucker to give examples of what she did as Commander-in-chief of the Alaska National Guard. She was very polite, but asked for just one example.

Tucker stuck to his talking points, but it was obvious that he hadn't any examples. He didn't know any more about Palin than the rest of us did.

The next day, the Republican attack machine was out in force. They were already worked up over the press daring to look too closely at Palin's daughter's illegitimate pregnancy. Brown's example of honest journalism was just too much for them.

With all the shrill rhetoric, shrieking and knashing of teeth, it all boiled down to, "Ignore the man behind the curtain."

The "wizard" of the Republican Party has been exposed for all its empty assertions and outright lies. The American people see them for the charlatans they are now.

Kudos to Campbell Brown for having the brass balls to do her job. Why has it taken so long?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

In San Francisco, One Day You're In, the Next, You're Down and Out!

Although I've been "Auf'd" from San Francisco's city limits, I still love the city. Today I finally found my favorite story that describes San Francisco's uniqueness.

As you may recall, I have one for Phoenix, where the soccer mom returns fire with the pistol from her purse when a gang opens fire on her husband and her on Baseline Road. I couldn't find a good one for San Francisco, until today.

In the comments to a story about Mayor Gavin Newsom being given an award by Time Magazine, a commenter posted this:

The East Coast media never quite gets a handle on San Francisco's uniqueness. I was visiting SFO once, and threw on some ratty clothes to go out and grab the morning newspaper. As I walked by a woman who had been sleeping in a store doorway, she looks me up and down and snorts: "Nice sweats!".

You gotta love a city where the homeless are fashion critics. And good ones, at that.

Yeah, any one of San Francisco's homeless could sit in as the guest judge on Project Runway, adroitly rip into the designers for their rotten fashion sense until they cry, hit up Heidi Klum for clean needles, shake down Michael Kors for change, read Nina Garcia for being a "snooty bitch", all while guzzling an "upscale" 40 in a "designer" paper bag, without breaking a sweat during the inevitable saturated burp.

Now that's San Francisco. Classy.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

You Dirty, Dirty, Filthy, Rotten Piece of Politics!

Oh, Politics. What is it about you that attracts mudslinging? Do you think it flatters your dirty, rotten slut of a face? Or does the mud appeal to your hermaphroditic character? Two bits and you're anyone's, really.

Lest we think that dirty politics, replete with racism, misogyny and homophobia, originated with our political generation, it turns out that the art of Rovian political slurs has been around as long as the republic.

CNN has this piece on the dirty campaign between John Adams and Thomas Jefferson in 1800 and the even more vitriolic campaign of 1828 between John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson .

Racial slurs were used against Jefferson, about whom, it was suggested, had both American Indian and African American heritage. In fact, they used the "S" word to describe his "half-breed" mother.

In turn, Jefferson said that Adams had a hermaphroditic personality and, worse yet, that he lacked the better qualities of either gender, despite his sexually ambiguous character. That just got things rolling with both sides casting aspersions on the other.

Even Martha Washington climbed into the mud-wrestling pit, stating that Jefferson was, really, just the worst type of person. Clearly, she did not have a firm handle on the art of the slur.

By 1828, things were no better. Mud was slung with vitriol in this presidential race. John Quincy Adams, President Adams son, was called a pimp. He, in turn, called Andrew Jackson's wife a slut.

To be fair, that probably wasn't entirely mud. In fact, Jackson should have known better than play the sexual morality card.

For the time, Rachel Jackson was a big ol' tart. She left or was thrown out by her first husband in 1788 and moved in with relatives. She eventually moved in with Jackson around 1790. The couple claimed that they were married in 1791 although no record of it exists.

Her first husband filed for a divorce in 1792 on the grounds of desertion, which was granted in 1793. Andrew and Rachel then married "again" in 1794. That means that the two most likely "lived in sin" for four years, or were bigamists for three.

Mudslinging or not, Q wasn't above using it to his political advantage in the hotly contested race. "Ought a convicted adulteress and her paramour husband to be placed in the highest offices of this free and Christian land?" It's mud that would bring a tear to Karl Rove's eye.

John Quincy Adam's campaign went further stating that Jackson's mother was a prostitute brought to America by the British military to service the enlisted men.

Oh, snap, bitch! Apparently, she wasn't good enough for the British officers.

Who knew that illegal immigration was an issue back then? Q's campaign also intimated that Jackson's racial heritage was less than "pure" on his father's side.

In the end, the voters could connect to Jackson, while they felt that Adams was elitist, what with his fancy education and trip around Europe, none of which Jackson enjoyed.

Plus, the voters felt cheated in the previous election when Jackson won the popular vote, but lost the electoral college vote. Jackson won the 1828 election.

Scoring

Points to the elitist Jefferson for using wit with his mud-slinging, even if the bulk of the largely illiterate voters had no idea what a hermaphrodite was. Only he could have come up with the idea that Adams had a "hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman."

Oscar Wilde couldn't have done better. He implies that Adams is homosexual without actually saying so. To further solidify his claim to dirty politics king, he managed to use a misogynistic stereotype that withstood the test of time.

John Quincy Adams also deserves a shout out. His prissy, bitchy slur about Jackson's mother is pure poetry made of mud. It wasn't enough that she was a sex worker, no, she was a common sex worker, throwing social class about in a theretofore-presumed classless society.

It brings a tear to one's eye to see what a "Christian nation" can do when it puts its mind to it. Misogyny, racism and homophobia have been slung about since the beginning. We've come so far only to find ourselves back where we began.

Biden My Time

Presidential candidate, Sen. Barack Obama, selected Sen. Joe Biden to be his running mate today, to which I say, "Meh!" What a lukewarm piece of slush of a choice.

Instead, he should have chosen Madeleine Albright as his VP, or another woman with foreign policy experience with the ability to be a graceful attack dog to his critics. He would have solidified his base with the disappointed Clinton voters and brought heft and credibility to his ticket for swing voters.

Now it is up to Sen. John McCain to do the obvious and select a woman VP for his ticket.

Obama's selection of Biden makes me question again if Obama has the political prowess to win this election.

UPDATED UPDATE: Now that John McCain picked Gov. Sarah Palin as his running-mate, I realize that I should have been more specific. By suggesting that it is the obvious choice to pick a woman, I mean someone along the lines of Olympia Snow or Kay Bailey Hutchinson. Had he picked either of them, this would be a horse race. Now it is just a sad, sad exercise to a foregone conclusion.

UPDATE: Biden accepted the nomination for VP tonight. I have to admit he has a compelling backstory. I still prefer Madeleine Albright.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

RIP, Bitch!

Nothing brings tears to the eyes quite like a warm-hearted soul-gouging cat-fight obituary. Dolores Aquilar made the mistake of forgetting that those who survive you get to pen the biography - or at least the obituary through which history will remember you.

Apparently, Dolores was a bitch. She wasn't "meh"; she wasn't so-so.

Nope. No other word for it, she was a cold-hearted, nothing-good-to-say bitch who treated her family badly. And her family totally went there in the obituary.

Check out the verbage. One can only presume that she abhorred wire hangers.

Now doesn't that just bring a tear to the corner of your eye? From laughter? Too soon?

(If you thought that the picture is of Dolores Aguilar, turn in your gay icon merit badge! That is Joan Crawford.)

Gayranimal Kingdom

The Castro is aflame with controversy. Tourist buses have discovered the Castro. The native gays are not happy about it.

The Ungay disembark like zombies, gawk at the gays holding hands as though they are zoo animals, take a few pics, and don't bother to spend any money. Further, they feel compelled to hold hands with persons of the opposite sex to demonstrate that they are heterosexual.

The gays are not having this. The normally ultra-friendly San Francisco vibe is strained. No one wants the already crowded sidewalks clogged with tourists who mill about and block the way.

We like to keep the bulk of them where they belong - safely tucked away from the natives in places such as the Wharf, Chinatown (Grant Street only, please) and, if they must, Union Square. Besides, we have sidewalk blockers already - our local homeless "vendors".

Of course, tourists who act respectfully and spend a little money in the neighborhood are always welcome. Just not bus loads full of the other kind.

The neighborhood has petitioned the city to remove the one "Coach" parking area removed. Unfortunately, that will take three months to get the zone change made and posted.

In the meantime, the community is considering self-help. There are calls for the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to take the matter into their capable hands. There is not a camera-wielding tourist who has the resolve to take on a six-foot drag queen nun on a rampage. (Sister Roma pictured.)

Although I suspect that may make them just take more pictures.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

So Long and Thanks for All the Fish

It has been a crazy month. I'm having to sell everything and move back with the 'rent. It has been a wonderful year in San Francisco. I wish I'd have been able to find a job and stay. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

So I bid my favorite city goodbye.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

Monday, June 23, 2008

SF Gay Pride 2008

Gay Pride week is upon us.

The International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival is underway. Last night, I went to a great low-budget film about Egyptian gays and the persecution they continue to face in Egypt. It received a standing ovation from a sold-out crowd. None of the film's participants thought that it would be so well received.

My friend, Bassam, acted in the film as the interrogator. Our apartment building was where one of the scenes was filmed, which was interesting. It was filmed in and around San Francisco, although the setting is Cairo. They couldn't have shot the film there without being arrested. Some footage of Cairo was shot to interweave into the film.

Underscoring the plight of Middle-Eastern gays, it came out today that Saudi Arabia's religious police arrested scores of men for allegedly being homosexual. Some were released, but 21 remain in custody.

What struck me most about the film was the similarities between Islamic fundamentalists and Christian fundamentalists. It's very sobering to realize that there isn't much difference between extremists of either religion. It could happen here as well as there.

Tonight I'm going to see a couple of American Indian gay films.

Saturday morning will see the installation of the Pink Triangle on Twin Peaks. This year, it will be so large that it will be able to be seen twenty miles away. The Pink Triangle is not only a gay symbol, it was the gay equivalent of the Star of David that the Nazis required the Jews to wear during WWII.

Gay men were sent to the concentration camps by the Nazis and had to wear an upside down pink triangle to show that they were homosexuals. It's a reminder to us of the extreme hatred and violence that has and continues to be levied against the LGBT community around the world. There is a memorial garden at 17th ST, Castro Street and Market Street for those gay men who died in the Nazi concentration camps.

Saturday and Sunday are also the dates for the Pride festival. Sunday morning, the first and largest Gay Pride parade will take place at 10:30 a.m. along Market Street, which is bedecked with gay pride flags from start to finish of the long, main thoroughfare.

Gay Marriage Fight or Flight

There was research reported recently that same-sex couples tend to have fairer arguments within their relationships than do straight couples.

That is not to say we don't argue. We do. Even when there is nothing to fight about. Take this funny example:

Monday, June 16, 2008

Things I've Learned from San Francisco

It looks like my time in San Francisco is drawing to a close. It isn't by choice, but by necessity. I've lived here a year and have exhausted my savings without finding a job. Sadly, a good heart doesn't pay the rent.

In getting ready to move, I've been reflecting on what I've learned in San Francisco.

First, I learned Patience. I have ADHD. Patience is not an easy virtue of mine. Still, after being a typical Kansas City driver, I learned that contrary to popular opinion, you don't have to drive with your horn. One almost never hears someone honk at someone in this town. Even the taxi drivers seem to be uncommonly patient and polite. The only exception to this rule are MUNI operators who are rude and surly at the best of times.

Also, I learned that you can wait in line and not have a coronary from the stress. To be honest, I'm still learning this and probably will never quite master it. But I'm trying.

The reason a city is a fun city is because its citizens organize fun things. From the Bring Your Own Big Wheel race down crookedest streets to Urban Golf to reenacting the Alamo with water balloons, this town has a fun mix of people.

Tolerance is for the uncivilized. This city openly accepts its strangest and squirreliest of citizens. It enjoys them. It gives them space and time to be themselves.

Compassion starts with the least of citizens and extends upwards. You'd think 2000 years after Christ, we'd get this. After 30 years of Republican "compassion-lite", which is to say no compassion at all, there are still people who care about the homeless and try to find ways to help them, while keeping them out of the parks and people's backyards.

People like to say that people in the Midwest are friendly. I don't think they know the meaning of the term. By San Francisco standards, Kansans are downright hesitant. MUNI drivers aside, people in this town don't resent being stopped and asked directions or which bus to take. They will patiently explain how to get across town and what bus numbers to look for. I've never lived in a city so friendly and nice.

There are some aspects of liberalism, exemplified in this city, with which I'm uncomfortable. I don't like how everyone thinks they can have a stake in someone's private construction project. I think it is unAmerican to let your neighbors have a say in the color of your house or whether you are allowed to build three stories or two. If they aren't chipping in on the cost, I don't think they should get a say. But people here do think that is the way it should be. For better or worse, it somehow works well enough that eventually construction projects do get built. Just later and for more money than it would cost if people minded their own business.

Sorry. That was the Kansan in me talking.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Kill the Indian, Save the Child

On my law school graduation ring, the artist who designed and made it put lightening bolts. He told me it was to remind me to live each day as though it were my last, for we never know when death might come.

He could not read, write or do math despite a federal education. He was an intelligent enough man. He had the misfortune to be an American Indian during his childhood.

He is Navajo. He might be ten years older than me. The federal government school he was forced to attend didn't feel that Indians needed to know such lofty concepts as the Three Rs that were taught to other American children.

Instead, he was trained to be a janitor. That was the limit of the American Dream he was allowed to dare to hope for.

From the 1870s through the 1970s, the U.S. government ran boarding schools where American Indian children were forcibly removed from their parents and tribes and sent to boarding schools, often hundreds of miles from home. Parents were not allowed to visit their children in school or see them other than school breaks.

The schools were part of the shameful assimilationist period of federal American Indian policy. With great disdain for American Indians or their civil rights, Henry Ward Beecher summarized the goal of the schools as:

"The common schools are the stomachs of the country in which all people that come to us are assimilated within a generation. When a lion eats an ox, the lion does not become an ox, but the ox becomes a lion."

The boarding schools were designed to strip Indian children completely of their culture and Indian appearance. Thus the motto, "Kill the Indian, Save the Child". Children were punished for speaking in their native language, practicing their culture and even their appearance was forcibly changed to make them appear more white.

Despite the First Amendment, American Indians both on the reservation and in boarding schools were not allowed to practice their religion. In the schools, the children would be severely punished. The government schools practiced the officially sanctioned Christian religion and the government paid to indoctrinate the Indian children in the official religion.

Even the children's names were Christianized. They were no longer allowed to use or answer to the names given to them by their parents or clans. To do so one faced punishment. An Indian child's complete identity was wiped out by the American governments organized brain washing experiment.

The school administrators took great pride in taking before and after pictures of Indian children as they arrived in native dress, then afterwards with their long hair cut short and in uncomfortable American clothes.

Many Indian children endured abuse, both physical and sexual. Many more were not taught to read, write or do mathematics despite attending the schools. Most were trained to be domestic servants, janitors or farmers because that was all the BIA thought Indians would be capable of contributing to American society.

On Wednesday, June 11, 2008, Canada officially apologized for its schools and will pay damages to its Indigenous population for a similar program run by the Canadian government during the same time period with the same motto. The damages and apology came as a result of a lawsuit against the government by Canadian Indians who suffered under the scheme.

Australia ran an even worse program where children were literally stolen from aborigine parents and never returned. The Stolen Children were never allowed to know their birth parents and grew up in institutions and prison-like schools. Australia officially apologized to the Aborigines earlier in February 2008.

In contrast, Canada and the U.S. did allow Indian children to go home for short breaks between school terms. The children were allowed to return home to their reservations after graduation whereas in Australia, they were not.

America has never apologized to any Native Americans for any of its treatment of American Indians or other Native American groups, including children taken from parents.

Every time I look at my ring, I think of the artist who created it and the damage done to him by the U.S. government that forcibly took him from his loving parents and raised him to be someone he is not. When does life begin for someone who has suffered such a fate? And then Americans wonder why alcoholism and drug use is rampant on reservations? Such unfettered hubris we unflinchingly display when refusing to look at what ills to God and man that we have done.

I hope he and the others get an apology soon. But I'm not holding my breath. Lightening will strike me sooner than the U.S. would deign to admit its crimes against the lost generations of Indian children.

In the meantime, I live my life as though each day could be my last. It's the least he deserves.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

American Indian Citizenship

Most Americans don't realize that American Indians weren't considered U.S. citizens until Congress passed the Indian Citizenship Act, which was signed into law by President Coolidge on June 2, 1924. This year is the 84th anniversary of that citizenship being granted to all American Indians who were born in the U.S.

The act was passed in recognition of American Indian men who fought in World War I alongside non-Indian Americans, while not being American citizens. American Indians were the last minority group given citizenship, despite American Indian children being born within the boundaries of the U.S. since nationhood in 1781. Native Alaskans and Native Hawaiians presumably received citizenship with the advent of their statehood, if not before.

Some Indians received U.S. citizenship earlier. The Five Civilized Tribes (Cherokee, Choctaw, Chickasaw, Muscogee Creek and Seminoles) in what later became Oklahoma were made U.S. citizens by congressional act in 1901 as part of the American policy to terminate the tribes and make a new state.

With Congress having plenary authority over American Indians, American Indians remain the only race for whom citizenship could be removed by congressional act.

Despite the Act, most Indians were denied the right to vote, however, until the 1950s. With Jim Crow laws in some states applying to all people of color, it might have extended for some well into the 1960s.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Pocket Cams Cavort in Pocket Pool

If you are scopin' for a cheap video cam to record your "artistic" endeavors, but aren't sure which of the low-price pocket cams to get, Gizmodo to the rescue.

They tried six cams from four vendors in normal light indoors, low light indoors and outdoors. They judged the results of each. The winner is...Pure Digital's Flip Ultra.

This is surprising because Pure Digital announced this week a new version of the Flip - the Flip Mino. It is smaller than the already miniscule Flip Ultra. But its sound quality and non-replaceable battery didn't set well with the reviewer.

The Flip Ultra is available for $150, down from its previous $180.

Google & NASA Sittin' in a Tree...

Google and NASA have been spotted canoodling before, but now Google has gone and moved in with NASA at NASA Ames. Wired's science paparazzi snapped the photo at left of the cozy couple.

Google leased 42.2 acres of the NASA Ames complex in Silicon Valley to build a new office campus. The lease payments are reputedly $3.66m/yr over 40 years with an option to renew up to 50 additional years. Lease rates are adjustable over the lease term.

According to Wired, "plans include 1.2 million square feet of office and R&D space, as well as company housing and dining, sports, fitness, child care, conference, and park facilities.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Sandra Day O'Connor Gets Jiggy Wit Video Games

Former Supreme Court Justice, Sandra Day O'Connor, is gettin' jiggy wit' video games. But she won't be playing them herself.

She is working with Our Courts, a joint organization created by Georgetown University and Arizona State University (Go Sundevils!). The goal of the organization is to teach young people about the three branches of government, especially about the judiciary, which O'Connor feels has come under attack in the last several decades, impeding its independence and ability to render impartial decisions.

The website will be free and will be able to be used by teachers teaching civics to children, as well as to children who can use the site to learn more on their own.

CA Supremes Turn Down Stay

The California Supreme Court today unanimously decided to deny a request for a stay of execution of the court's May ruling that California may not discriminate against same sex couples in allowing them to marry. In a separate vote, the court declined to reconsider its decision.

These two decisions come as a blow to two anti-gay-marriage groups and 11 states who have petitioned the court to stay its decision pending an anti-gay-marriage initiative on the November ballot in California.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Media Flop

More on the media's failure to adequately question the president during the propoganda blitz to approve the war in Iraq.

Katie Couric and a former MSNBC reporter both report pressure from within their network's corporations to match the country's then-fervor of patriotism following 9/11.

The Huffington Post (David Fiderer) is reporting that NBC and MSNBC News anchors Tom Brokaw and Brian Williams failed to report in their news shows about the March 7, 2003 findings by Muhamed ElBaradei and the International Atomic Energy Agency that there was no evidence to support the administration's claim that Iraq had even tried to create atomic weapons. This was eleven days before the invasion. The administration's own team later validated the ElBaradei findings.

To this day, NBC and MSNBC have failed to report on the story accurately, according to Fiderer. David Williams and David Gregory, of NBC, both state that their news channel had insufficient access to the inspectors or that the right questions were asked or that their job is not to debate the president, just to ask questions. Fiderer feels that NBC and its anchor and reporter are dissembling, since they knew and know that the weapons of mass destruction argument had serious flaws after the ElBaradei report to the UN (Andrea Mitchell, of NBC News was there as the report was given to the UN by ElBaradei on March 7, 2003).

Likewise, Dan Bartlett, formerly part of the Bush Administration, has said that the administration relied on faulty intelligence. But Fiderer believes that the media and the administration are "liars or or manipulators or propagandists" to use Bartlett's words. Fiderer calls Bartlett an out-and-out liar since the administration knew its WMD claim was bogus after the ElBaradei report.

I guess that I have to cross NBC news off my list as an accurate news source now, along with ABC. That leaves CBS, whose beleaguered anchor, Katie Couric, remains alone in her condemnation of media coverage, including her own.

I'd rather have someone be honest about their past failings than suffer the indignity of someone who tries to obfuscate their own complicity in the administration's unfettered propoganda campaign.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

She Says Tomato, He Says, "What?"

What do you know? There are biological reasons why men act the way they do and why women do the things they do. It's kind of God's little joke on all of the straight people out there.

CNN has an interesting article on research about the biological actions behind what each sex does that drives the opposite sex crazy.

It's interesting, but I think they need to study same-sex couples and see how their theories play out.

For example, if testosterone cancels out the oxytocin that is released during sex that makes women want to cuddle, why do many gay men like to cuddle after sex? Our testosterone levels are the same as straight men. Granted, most like to cuddle as they fall asleep after sex, but cuddling is there, all the same.

My theory has more to do with body temperature. Personally, spooning is fun, but it is too hot to have someone that close to you for very long. I begin to feel like I"m burning up with all the body heat being reflected back.

I've also known a few lesbians who like action flicks more than romantic films, too. There is something more afoot than this article explains.

Now if they can explain male pattern blindness (not seeing the ketchup right in front of them in the refrigerator), then they may have something.

Vex, Lies and Videotape

President Bush and his administration played loose with the truth, according to Scott McClellan, in his new book. This comes as no surprise to most of us, but I know people who still have willingly blinded themselves to the truth.

McClellan goes on to say that he uniknowingly passed on lies about the Valerie Plame scandel. He didn't discover that they were lies until two years later when the press dug up the truth.

On the Today Show this morning, there was a discussion from the three anchors of the three major networks about whether McClellan's assertion that the press failed to ask the tough questions was true. Katie Couric acknowledged that there was a lot of pressure put on the press by McClellan and the administration to report things their way. She said that the Today Show didn't give in, but speculated that the pressure had to have affected coverage.

Brian Williams agreed that coverage could have been better. Charlie Gibson was alone in thinking that the right questions were asked and he wouldn't change anything (which immediately made me check off ABC as an unreliable news source).

Interestingly, I watch NBC and CBS, but never watch ABC. I still respect Dan Rather for trying to stand up to the administration's propaganda machine, albeit with the wrong information. At least he tried, while ABC politely shirked its duty and still fails to acknowledge its failure.

Sadly, none of this will convince those who willingly blind themselves to the truth. I have relatives in Texas who will die supporting Bush, against all the evidence that will continue to come out after he leaves office.

I am happy that McClellan has a conscious and came clean, though. Perhaps the evil empire isn't all evil after all.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sharon's Stone

Sharon Stone is making news in Asia over her reported comment that the earthquake in China was karma coming home to roost for the Chinese who were mistreating the Tibetans. At first I feared that she had crossed over to the Pat Robertson School of Mystical Retribution.

Actually, she said something slightly different. She said that she's upset with China's treatment of Tibetans. She wondered what to do about the Olympics and the way the Chinese treat the Dalai Lama. Then the earthquake occurred and she thought to herself, "Is that karma [for the way they treat the Tibetans]?"

But she went on to say that a Tibetan organization contacted her to help with publicity to help them go to China to help with relief efforts. That humbled her and she realized that she was wrong. She said she needed to be more like them to be able to be a servant to those who do you wrong.

Her comment was about her personal moral lesson, not about her original comment about karma and earthquakes.

But as usual, that was not as interesting to the reporters as her internal question about whether the earthquake was karma or not and what she had learned from her uncharitable thought.

Here is the piece. I found the Asian portion very uninformative with the Chinese subtitles and presumably Japanese language, but the reporter goes on to speak English with other reporters from other parts of the world.

Cupcake Camp

I'm intrigued. Wired Magazine's website has a note about a cupcake camp in San Francisco.

Anyone who knows me knows of my tragic weakness; baked goods are to me as crack cocaine is to a crack ho. It is an addiction that I only barely keep under control.

Cupcake camp is based on the barcamp paradigm, which is a deceiving name. The name is derived from foobar, not from the dispensaries of alcoholic beverages. Foobar is a placeholder name or variable used in software coding. Barcamps are basically open source software coding meetings that are set up via the internet.

It turns out that in this case, the cupcake camp is legit. People are getting together to eat cupcakes, organized entirely on the internet, thus combining two of my addictions in one neatly frosted package.

The meeting is held on Sunday June 1 in San Francisco. Detes are here.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Leap of Faith

A photographer risked it all to get a picture of the perfect Grand Canyon sunset. He leaped eight feet across the chasm to get to a rocky pinnacle to take the picture and then leaped back, resulting in a heart stopping moment when he only had one hand gripping on the rockface.

Story and pics here.

Larry Craig Bobblefeet

The St. Paul Saints, a Twin Cities minor baseball league team, is offering a Minneapolis Airport Bathroom Stall Bobblefeet figure for fundraising.

No word from Senator Larry Craig on if the figure's feet accurately reflect a wide enough stance or not.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

MUNI Nazi

I tell my friends and family visiting the city to never ask a bus driver or other MUNI operator for directions, help or any assistance. They are downright grouchy, grumpy and rude.

Instead, I tell them, ask anyone else from San Francisco. Unlike any other city where I've traveled, San Franciscans transit riders are polite to a fault. They will give you directions, help you find the right bus and even give restaurant suggestions.

But we all know that the MUNI Nazis are downright mean. Now we have proof.

It took Channel 7 (ABC) two years and a lawsuit to get MUNI to release its complaint records. We now know the name of the grouchiest, rudest, and PMSiest operator of all.

Cynthia Thompson has had 139 complaints in three years. That doesn't count the ones that MUNI didn't think deserved any action. She has more complaints against her than any other operator.

Some Quotes:

May 18, 2004: “The operator was on her cell phone from the time she boarded … until she got off.”

January 26, 2005: “She reminds me of the ‘Soup Nazi’ on Seinfeld.”

September 13, 2004: “Extremely rude and unnecessarily rude toward passengers.”

January 2, 2006: “Operator was clipping her nails while driving the bus.”

March 23, 2005: “Close doors on patron’s wrist. Patron had to pull his wrist out to avoid being dragged by the bus.”

October 3, 2005: “The rudest, most disrespectful operator this patron has ever seen.”

Channel 7 had to go ride her bus to get to talk to her. Within minutes, she trapped a little girl's foot in the door. (Click link to see undercover video.)

Soon afterward she committed the unpardonable sin in San Francisco - she used her horn on a car parked in the bus lane. A passenger objected to her use of the horn and she cusses him out and calls the transit police on him. (Click link to see undercover video.)

Both of these were on the same bus ride on the same day! Unfortunately, she is not alone.

I've had my ability to read called into question by train operators. It was my first ride on the train outside the subway. The doors don't open automatically in the Avenues like they do in the subway, even if you step down like you do on buses. The signs telling you to push the almost indistinguishable bar are helpfully placed at shin height.

My 70 year-old mother was treated rudely for asking if she was going the right direction when traveling home by bus while I was in the hospital. But the riders gallantly came to her rescue and verified that she was going the right direction and made sure she knew where to get off the bus.

But for every rude driver, there seems to be one or two that really shine. My nephew and I were on a bus earlier this month. The driver was one of the most friendly and helpful drivers I've ever encountered anywhere.

I wish I'd gotten his name or number so I could have written and praised him to his supervisors. If Ms. Thompson is the MUNI Nazi, he is surely the MUNI Saint.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sunset (Pennsylvania) Avenue

This is pretty funny if you are straight, but if you are a gay man with knowledge of classic films, this is hysterical. Sunset Boulevard is one of my favorite films.

First: The final scene from the original Sunset Boulevard. Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) descends into madness after murdering her lover.




Second: The remake for Hillary Clinton. Anderson Cooper is her Cecil B. DeMille.

30 Day Gay Wedding Planner

23/6, a satirical news site has provided it's 30 Day Gay Wedding Planner to assist all those rushing to the alter on June 14 in California.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Abuse of California Indians in the Missions

Most non-Indian Americans are ignorant of the full scope of maltreatment received by American Indians by the Spanish, British (then Americans after them), or French.

Indian Country Today has a great article by Stephen Newcomb on how Indians were mistreated in the Spanish Missions in California. The goal of the missions were clear from the beginning, based on papal bulls that considered non-Catholics to be barely human.

The purpose of the missions were the ''spiritual and temporal conquest'' of California, as well as the "spiritual conquest and conversion of the infidels.'' The infidels were the Indians. Exacerbating the problem was that even after conversion to Catholicism, the Indians were treated just as badly as before.
Conquest is one aspect of the paradigm of domination that underlies the colonizing mission of the Vatican and the Catholic Church in the Americas, in keeping with papal decrees that called for the ''subjugation'' of ''barbarous nations.'' As part of this charge, one task of the church was to break the free spirit of and ''reduce'' those who were ''not of the faith.'' Spiritual conquest involved the use of spirit-breaking techniques that served as part of the arsenal that was employed against the originally free and independent Indian nations and peoples of California. They were more slaves than anything else. They were given so few rations and worked so hard that the life expectancy from resulting disease and starvation was only six years after entering a mission.

Nine out of ten births were stillborn. When a woman gave birth to a stillborn baby, she was punished.
Hugo Reid told of what happened to an Indian woman who had a stillborn child: ''When a woman had the misfortune to bring forth a stillborn child, she was punished. The penalty was shaving the head, flogging for 15 subsequent days, iron on the feet for three months, and having to appear every Sunday in church, on the steps of the alter, with a hideous painted [effigy] child in her arms.''
The Indians were routinely beat and abused by the mission priests. So inhumane was it that Hugo Reid's report of conditions at the Missions couldn't even describe the inhumanity fully.
Reid wrote of Mission San Gabriel: ''So as not to make a revolting picture, I will bury acts of barbarity known to me through good authority, by merely saying that Father Zalvidea must have considered whipping [to be] meat and drink to them, for they [the Indians] had it morning, noon, and night.''
Americans were sometimes less barbaric than the Spanish, but only by degrees. The Trail of Tears showed that Americans were only too willing to engage in barbarity against Indians, even those who had converted to Christianity and became "civilized" by American definitions. They put us in concentration camps with insufficient rations and clean water, disease running rampant. They forced us on a death march in Winter where 25% of our nation died. Countless other tribes have stories of similar barbarity on the part of a supposedly "Christian" nation.

Neither the American government, Spanish government, nor the Vatican have acknowledged or apologized for the abuse and human rights violations against American Indians.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

A New Addition to the Gay Lexicon

A new word was born this week. I don't know who started it, but Chris Jenson at the SF Examiner newspaper used it in his blog, the Gay Examiner.

He informs us that at least for the short term, he's developed a crush on Mayor Gavin Newsom. In fact, he'd gay-marry Gavin Newsom if Newsom would agree to a haircut and to use less product in his hair.

As a point of fact, Newsom does seem to be stuck in the late 90s, but somehow the look suits him. I'm not as worried as some of my other gay brethren if he sticks with the look.

Newsom relatively recently divorced his first wife and took a model as his second wife, so it is fairly certain that the mayor is a confirmed player on the other team. But I'm sure a lot of gay men have mini-crushes on Newsom this week, and probably a few lesbians, too.

Something happened at the Mayor's press conference Thursday that impressed me. One of the men making a short speech mentioned how good looking Newsom is. Newsom laughed, reached out and squeezed the man's shoulder by way of thanks for the compliment.

It's pretty refreshing to see a straight man who is so obviously comfortable around gays and lesbians. What a contrast to the national politicians. It brought to mind Barack Obama's hyperfear at being photographed with Newsom again.

I think that is going to be Obama's legacy with a lot of us in the gay community. He had a chance to be part of the latest civil rights movement, but he ducked his head and ran the other way. You can't shout about change and then disappear when the reality of change is inconvenient.

The Triumph of Liberty for All

Greg Berlanti, along with other LGBT celebrities, was asked by The Advocate, the LGBT news magazine, what his reaction was to Thursday's gay marriage ruling. He is an openly gay executive producer and writer behind ABC's Brother and Sisters and many other television shows.

Berlanti commented on how sad it is that neither Barack Obama nor Hillary Clinton could celebrate this victory with us, given their political stance on gay marriage. Both prefer civil unions to gay marriage.

In contrast, he offers the speech by Spain's Prime Minister, Jose Zapatero, upon the passage of Spain's historic gay rights legislation, which was equally demonized by the Religious Right in Spain.

We are not legislating, honorable members, for people far away and not known by us. We are enlarging the opportunity for happiness to our neighbors, our coworkers, our friends, and our families: at the same time we are making a more decent society, because a decent society is one that does not humiliate its members.

In the poem 'The Family,' our [gay] poet Luis Cernuda was sorry because, 'How does man live in denial in vain by giving rules that prohibit and condemn?'

Today, the Spanish society answers to a group of people who, during many years have been humiliated, whose rights have been ignored, whose dignity has been offended, their identity denied, and their liberty oppressed. Today the Spanish society grants them the respect they deserve, recognizes their rights, restores their dignity, affirms their identity, and restores their liberty.

It is true that they are only a minority, but their triumph is everyone's triumph. It is also the triumph of those who oppose this law, even though they do not know this yet: because it is the triumph of Liberty. Their victory makes all of us (even those who oppose the law) better people, it makes our society better. Honorable members, there is no damage to marriage or to the concept of family in allowing two people of the same sex to get married. To the contrary, what happens is this class of Spanish citizens get the potential to organize their lives with the rights and privileges of marriage and family. There is no danger to the institution of marriage, but precisely the opposite: this law enhances and respects marriage.

Today, conscious that some people and institutions are in a profound disagreement with this change in our civil law, I wish to express that, like other reforms to the marriage code that preceded this one, this law will generate no evil, that its only consequence will be the avoiding of senseless suffering of decent human beings. A society that avoids senseless suffering of decent human beings is a better society.

With the approval of this bill, our country takes another step in the path of liberty and tolerance that was begun by the democratic change of government. Our children will look at us incredulously if we tell them that many years ago, our mothers had less rights than our fathers, or if we tell them that people had to stay married against their will even though they were unable to share their lives. Today we can offer them a beautiful lesson: Every right gained, each access to liberty has been the result of the struggle and sacrifice of many people that deserve our recognition and praise.

What a pity our politicians are found to be so lacking in comparison to Mr. Zapatero. He understands that Liberty is best judged by how a nation treats its minority, not the majority.

Could we substitute Mr. Zapatero by write-in vote?

Bay to Breakers 2008

Runners are getting into stride in the annual Bay to Breakers 12K race today. The race route starts at the Bay side of the city, runs through SOMA, through City Center, Hayes Valley, skirts the Haight and NOPA, into Golden Gate Park, and ends at Ocean Beach.

What makes this race a San Francisco treat is that some runners don costumes. Some run without benefit of clothing. It is a free-for-all fun time in the best of San Francisco tradition. There are serious runners, of course, in normal race attire, too.

The race began in 1912 as a testament to San Franscisco's survival of the 1906 earthquake. It was intended to be a precursor to the 1915 Panama Pacific International Exposition, when San Franciscans were to show that the city was rebuilt.

The Cross City Race, as it was first called, had around 200 runners. The race now draws more than 65,000 participants and over 100,000 spectators. In 1986, the race won the title of World's Biggest Footrace in the Guinness Book of World Records when it had over 110,000 participants (with 78,769 registered as runners).

Photos from this year's race can be found here.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Slow Dancing Out Loud

"This day is about people who can begin to live their lives out loud." Mayor Gavin Newsom was celebrating the California Supreme Court decision legalizing marriage for everyone regardless of sexual orientation.

Mayor Newsom's words resonate with me. I've not been able to forget this concept of living one's life out loud. It is amazing how much power a word or phrase has.

I'm gay, but I'm single and don't plan to get married. Still the court decision impacted me in a personal and substantive way.

The reason that I moved from Kansas City, Missouri to San Francisco, California was so that I could live my life out loud, although I didn't have the concept to match the feelings last year.

I was weary of having to decide if I should remain silent about my sexual orientation in employment. I was weary to the bone of the Bible Belt. I no longer intended to endure that silent oppression that loudly voiced itself in political life there.

The Kansas City metro area was once a free and liberal place. At least it was as compared to the small Kansas town in which I grew up. I once was enamored with its flowered boulevards and many statues and fountains. In the end, the city's facial beauty could no longer distract me from the increasingly intolerant social and political realities there.

As the Religious Right took control of the GOP, the social cancer that it brought took hold and prospered in the Plains along with the wheat.

Being in the heart of the Bible Belt, many people became more judgmental against gays and lesbians and saw no problem enforcing their religious beliefs on us in the government and increasingly, in social settings. It was an often silent, but invidious oppression.

In sharp contrast, I felt much more accepted and able to live freely in conservative Arizona than I ever did in Missouri or Kansas. When I returned to Missouri after grad school in Arizona, I never really felt at home again.

I felt as though I were holding my breath, waiting for something; waiting for I knew not what. I could never fully relax.

Finally, when the opportunity arose, I took a chance and moved from a Red State to a Blue State. I moved to what is considered the most liberal city in the U.S. if not the world.

And after Thursday's court decision establishing sexual orientation as a protected class, along with race, religion and sex, at long last, I could relax. I let go of my long-bated breath. Even with all the protections in place in California, for the first time in my adult life, I began to breath easily and deeply.

I participated in the celebratory party in the Castro Thursday night, where the entire LGBT community collectively exhaled. I couldn't help but compare it to Kansas City, where this spontaneous celebration and family feeling could never have happened. I have many gay friends there who still cannot live their lives fully out loud.

I read reactions from around the country, including one from a man in Texas who dared not to hope. But he was joyous that somewhere there was finally justice. That gave him permission to hope just a little that he would see a change someday in his home state. It was clear that he still could not live out loud.

The state argued that the only difference between domestic partnership and marriage was just a word. It implied that the word had no legal substance, no legal value, no power. Even the dissenters in Thursday's opinion didn't buy that the word had no value. Certainly those who oppose gay marriage don't think that the word has no substantive value.

If it is just a word, what a word it is to carry so much meaning, hope and acceptance for those of us who heard it applied to us for the first time in this state. The value, the power of that word, marriage, represented decades of fighting for this moment by the couples who brought the lawsuit. It had the power to make a crowd shout so loudly that the gleeful din could be heard for blocks around the Castro. It had legal substance in that for the first time known in this nation, we became a protected class where the state could not deny us our rights unless it could meet the strictest level of review by the courts.

That word means so much more than just a marriage license to us. For gays and lesbians everywhere, marriage is a homograph. For us, it means we are a huge step closer to being equal - equal in treatment by our government and equal in society for our love. Maybe a huge step closer to one day being fully accepted and respected in this country. And it means we now have a substantial set of state rights under the same name as everyone else in the state.

This one word has the power to reach across the nation and around the world. Now, other gays and lesbians can come to California and get legally married without residency requirements.

There will be a veritable stampede of gays and lesbians rushing to the alter in the event that victory is snatched from us in November. There is still a ballot initiative to amend the Constitution, which means that the struggle continues.

Yesterday I was given reason to hope even where the ballot initiative was concerned. I have a surrogate family in the Bay Area; it is my late step-father's sister and her husband. They consider me family and I, them.

I never felt that they were narrow-minded nor that my being gay was a problem for them. But I wondered how they felt about the gay marriage decision.

My step-aunt is liberal, so I really didn't figure it phased her at all. But my step-uncle is conservative and they are both Catholic. There was room for a little doubt.

My blood-relation uncle and aunt also live in this area and I don't really interact with them due to their Southern Baptist religion. In fact, my uncle is a retired Southern Baptist minister. They love me and I love them, but I don't care to have their religious prejudice in my life.

I figured my mother could do without the barrage. My uncle's constant braying about my lost soul got on her last nerve. My uncle promised my mother that he would never bring up the subject with me, but my uncle feels compelled to raise the subject when talking with her. She holds her own, but doesn't care to debate the subject when she knows they won't change their fractured view of homosexuals.

My aunt once called me when I was on a business trip to San Francisco to warn me. She was deeply concerned that I'd contract MRSA, which had just started coming to public consciousness.

She had good intentions, but I couldn't help but laugh. Her prejudice was showing like a slip peeking out from under her conservative dress.

Despite living in the Bay Area for over 40 years, she had no better idea of what constituted a gay man or his habits than someone in the Arctic Circle.

Of course, being gay and being saved are mutually exclusive in her religion. From the conversation, I quickly grasped her stereotype. She believed that all gay men danced together shirtless (undoubtedly ass-less leather chaps were her worst fear).

Since I am gay, she reasoned that I could not help myself in my unfettered depravity and go dancing shirtless with other gay men in some dark, crowded gay bar. Since MRSA was contracted by skin-to-skin contact, she feared that one shirtless slow dance might just kill me before I got saved.

I knew that her call was out of love for me. I assured her that I wasn't even visiting a gay bar while in town. In fact, I was quite a few miles from San Francisco in Burlingame, preparing for my meeting the next day. I had neither the time nor the inclination to go dancing.

I mentioned that because of my expanding waistline, I was not inclined to expose my torso, depraved dancing or not. I even reminded her that my mother and I are the only two American Indians without rhythm.

She wasn't at all convinced. "Keep your shirt on," she instructed.

Because of my Southern Baptist relatives, I couldn't help but wonder about my step-uncle's feelings or fears about gay marriage.

I needn't have worried. In talking with my step-uncle, he said, "I don't see where it affects me or my marriage. I don't have a problem with it."

My eyes welled up as I let loose of a different level of bated breath. Unlike my Southern Baptist aunt and uncle, he gets it.

Like the gay man in Texas, I have hope. I can finally live my life out loud, even as a single gay man, all because of one word.

I think that I'll go have a depraved, shirtless slow dance at a gay wedding to celebrate. Surely my auntie would agree that you can't live life out loud more than that.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Can a Constitutional Amendment Against Gay Marriage Survive?

After yesterday's momentous California Supreme Court decision, everyone now begins looking at the constitutional amendment initiative as the next fight. Even if it passes, I think that yesterday's decision fundamentally changed the analysis and very character of the initiative under federal equal protection law.

The question now becomes: If the constitutional amendment passes, can it survive federal equal protection claims?

The California ruling of the court was far reaching and well thought out. The court put the chips exactly where they wanted them for a reason.

The court held:

1) As a matter of California constitutional law, sexual orientation is a suspect class.

2) As a matter of California constitutional law, judicial review of sexual orientation equal protection claims will use strict scrutiny.

3) As a matter of California constitutional law, the state may not deny gays and lesbians the fundamental right of marriage.

Under federal law (and the California constitution), only the California Supreme Court is the final arbiter of the state's constitutional law. Federal law must respect and rely on it in deciding matters that require use of state law. In other words, federal courts cannot change or overrule state constitutional law unless it violates the U.S. Constitution.

On May 14, the court decision becomes final and is incorporated into the law of California. As of that date, gays and lesbians will be given the ability to exercise the fundamental right to marry anyone of their choice, regardless of sexual orientation.

The California Supreme Court wisely framed the entire initiative in context of Romer v. Evans. In that decision, the U.S. Supreme Court held that a state constitutional amendment could not remove substantive rights from a minority group based on mere animus against a class of citizens. The U.S. Supreme Court used rational basis, the lowest scrutiny level and still came up with an equal protection violation by the Colorado voters.

Thanks to the California Supreme Court, as a matter of California constitutional law, the right to marry is a fundamental right that cannot be denied on the basis of sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is a protected (suspect) class.

The court' decision becomes final on April 14, 2008. After that, gays and lesbians can and will exercise their fundamental right to marry, which they will enjoy at least until the initiative passes, if it does.

The initiative will not change the protected class status of sexual orientation. It doesn't change the strict scrutiny standard to be used within California constitutional cases. Those holdings will still be California law even if the initative passes.

If the initiative passes, the the U.S. Supreme Court will be forced to acknowledge that the voters of California did not only exactly what the Colorado voters did in 1992 - the California voters did something worse. California voters will have removed an established substantive right from gays and lesbians, a minority group, based on sexual orientation, a protected class under California constitutional law. Sexual orientation is the only distinctive factor in the choice to discriminate. The right to marriage is no longer theoretical as applied to gays and lesbians.

Here's why:

The U.S. Supreme Court majority waffled in its Lawrence v. Texas decision on the issue of whether their due process analysis applied to gay marriage specifically. They declined to say if it did or did not. They also declined to find gays and lesbians a suspect class. The decision turned on the point that the majority cannot penalize a class of persons of substantive legal rights under the federal constitution, specifically, using due process with a rational basis level of scrutiny.

The majority opinion in Lawrence declines to provide an equal protection analysis. Instead, it is in Justice O'Connor's concurring opinion that equal protection is applied and she finds the same result.

The question of whether gays had the right to marry had yet to be decided by any state courts at the time of the Romer v. Evans decision in 1996. Vermont's civil union case wouldn't be decided by the Vermont Supreme Court until 1999.

By the time of the Lawrence v. Texas decision in 2003, Vermont has decided that civil unions are required. Massachusetts is in the process of deciding its case for gay marriage, ultimately decided in 2004, after Lawrence.

Under federal law, at the time of Lawrence, it wasn't clear if gay marriage would be a substantive or fundamental right or not, yet (the distinction being that straight marriage was a fundamental right, but that gay marriage had not been decided yet as a right by the federal courts). The court declined to address that issue as it wasn't at stake in the case. But it was on everyone's mind at the timel

Justice O'Connor explicitly states in her concurring opinion that, "Texas cannot assert any legitimate state interest here, such as national security or preserving the traditional institution of marriage." To her way of thinking in 2003, preserving traditional marriage is sufficient to pass muster under rational basis review in federal equal protection law.

In Lawrence, the Court found that a liberty interest was at stake and that the state statute as applied only to homosexuals was unconstitutional under due process. It declined to decide the issue under equal protection as it found sufficient reason with due process. Again, it declined to hold that sexual orientation was a protected class.

The California Supreme Court heard the U.S. Supreme Court in particular to its Romer and Lawrence decisions and handled the messy details. The court declined to find that gays and lesbians have the right to gay marriage. Instead, they held that the fundamental right of marriage cannot be denied to gays and lesbians on the basis of sexual orientation, a suspect, or protected, class.

There is no nebulous liberty interest at stake here. The California court clearly finds that the right to marry is still a fundamental right, concurrent with its prior decisions in marriage cases.

The California court churns through each of the state's stated interests in denying gays the right to marry and dismisses each one by one. In short, where O'Connor felt there were numerous reasons to protect marriage from gays and lesbians, all the stated arguments were insufficient to the California court under the state's constitution and law.

The court went out of its way to note that it declined to create a new right. Instead, it found that denying of the existing fundamental right of marriage based on sexual orientation was unconstitutional under state equal protection. As a matter of state law, it is an existing fundamental right to marry that is being taken away.

Further, as a matter of California constitutional law, sexual orientation is a suspect class. It is so suspect that it received the strict scrutiny standard. These two holdings survive the initiative. This ties up the Lawrence rationale in that it is equal protection, not due process that is at stake (although an argument could be made under due process, as well).

Therefore, if the initiative passes, the majority will be seeking not only to deny a fundamental right to a minority, it is seeking to deny that right to a suspect class under California law. It is the worst type of equal protection violation just based on the face of it.

It hearkens to the Court majorities' shock in Romer at the electorate's animus against gays and lesbians that could be the only deciding factor. Here, the voters will have decided to take away a fundamental right due to the animus the public feels toward homosexuals.

Of course, one might posit that it is the sanctity of marriage or some other fuzzy argument that has no substantive logic or weight. It wouldn't be enough to sustain the amendment based on Romer and Lawrence.

Instead, the U.S. Supreme Court has to acknowledge that California voters removed an existing right from a protected class, as defined by California constitutional law. The court doesn't even have to define sexual orientation as a suspect class - it has been done for them using state law.

The distinctions from the Romer case cannot be ignored, either. The breadth of the constitutional amendment in Romer was staggering to the majority. It denied the LGBT community due process almost entirely where protection of their civil rights were concerned. Here, the state has provided domestic partnership laws that mirror civil marriage laws. The scope of the discrimination is different. The denial of due process in Romer isn't claimed here, either.

One might argue, as the state did in this case, that the difference is semantic and there are social reasons to separate gays and lesbians from heterosexual marriages. But logically, there is a difference no matter how prettily you wrap the package. If there were no difference between domestic partnership and marriage, why would we have people so vehemently wish to deny gays and lesbians this right? Obviously, the opponents see value in keeping marriage for heterosexuals by their very action to deny it.

The California court goes to great length to analyze the argument and is persuaded that separate but equal still denies gays and lesbians full equality under the law due to the difference in value of the name.

I don't think that the distinctions from Romer are enough to overcome the similarities, especially in how the California Supreme Court kept its decision based on state law and not federal, and in how it set up the initiative issue for appeal.

How can the state even mount a facially reasonable defense for itself that would be successful against the rational basis test? None of the state's or other parties' arguments against the court's holdings were sufficient. How can they be sufficient under the federal rational basis standard if the state's supreme court has found that they were insufficient as a matter of state law already, regardless of the difference in standards? It makes the federal court look bad from the get go if it doesn't side with the state court.

That doesn't mean that the U.S. Supreme Court can't overrule its Romer v. Evans decision. The justices on the court have changed substantively since the 1996 Romer court decided that case.

It could weasel some rational basis out of thin air. But if it does, it will be denying more established civil rights law than just Romer.

In fact, it would destabilize federal equal protection law in general to twist it that much. If a majority can take away substantive rights against a protected class by simple majority initiative based on some contrived excuse, then what protection does anyone have under the federal constitution?

I think what is more likely is that a constitutional amendment to deny gays and lesbians the right to marriage would be overturned by the federal district court or 9th Circuit federal appellate court using Romer v. Evans.

The U.S. Supreme Court is unlikely to be anxious to open the can of worms presented to it by the California Supreme Court. Most likely, it would deny certiorari based on Romer v. Evans being adequately applied by the lower courts. Additionally, there wouldn't be enough diversity of opinion among the circuits to justify Supreme Court intervention.

Never say never, but it is unreasonable to believe that the initiative to amend the California Constitution would survive federal scrutiny based on existing equal protection law.