Gayranimal Kingdom

The Castro is aflame with controversy. Tourist buses have discovered the Castro. The native gays are not happy about it.

The Ungay disembark like zombies, gawk at the gays holding hands as though they are zoo animals, take a few pics, and don't bother to spend any money. Further, they feel compelled to hold hands with persons of the opposite sex to demonstrate that they are heterosexual.

The gays are not having this. The normally ultra-friendly San Francisco vibe is strained. No one wants the already crowded sidewalks clogged with tourists who mill about and block the way.

We like to keep the bulk of them where they belong - safely tucked away from the natives in places such as the Wharf, Chinatown (Grant Street only, please) and, if they must, Union Square. Besides, we have sidewalk blockers already - our local homeless "vendors".

Of course, tourists who act respectfully and spend a little money in the neighborhood are always welcome. Just not bus loads full of the other kind.

The neighborhood has petitioned the city to remove the one "Coach" parking area removed. Unfortunately, that will take three months to get the zone change made and posted.

In the meantime, the community is considering self-help. There are calls for the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to take the matter into their capable hands. There is not a camera-wielding tourist who has the resolve to take on a six-foot drag queen nun on a rampage. (Sister Roma pictured.)

Although I suspect that may make them just take more pictures.